


Shore Leave

by ritsuko



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Feels, Fluff, M/M, Unrequited Love, idk - Freeform, maybe i love you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-05
Updated: 2013-11-05
Packaged: 2017-12-31 13:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1032360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ritsuko/pseuds/ritsuko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set right after the Shore Leave, Spock ponders what the captain means to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shore Leave

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally written for the KiS Con 2013 'Zine. It's my first jaunt into TOS and hopefully I gave people feels other than me. :3

Bitter and spicy.

Spock's nose wrinkled slightly, his tea had steeped for too long. With a glance, he noticed that he had been totally immersed in reports for the last hour. With a soft exhale, he pushed back from his desk, feeling the need to stretch his legs. 

There were very few times that the Vulcan found the need to stop working, but it seemed feasible to take a short walk around the ship with only a skeleton crew aboard. The rest of the crew were still on shore leave on a paradise of a planet down below. He truly didn't mind, he was far more at home on the Enterprise, and didn't require the rest that almost every other crewmember did. Besides, had he stayed on that planet, the Captain would have pushed to stay on ship, even with his fatigue. 

The Vulcan had seen the look in his Captain's eye when he had seen the visage of the woman, someone he had undoubtedly loved and lost somewhere along the way, left behind as the Enterprise sailed on to new solar systems. Spock understood Jim's need for companionship perhaps far better than anyone else, and the dilemma he faced of putting the ship first, always. 

Still, there was an incredibly implausible feeling that continued to cross the Vulcan's mind, that he and the captain were like two sides of the same coin, just different perspectives.

After a making a full circle of F Deck, he decided to make his way down to Engineering. There was little chance that there would be much happening when the ship was anchored, but if he was going to walk one section of the ship there was surely no harm in inspecting the rest.

To most it would be a daunting task, something no one would find any pleasure in, but without many sets of eyes upon him and the prestige of his title, it was something that Spock found quite a bit of satisfaction in, which he only allowed himself because the Enterprise was something to take pride in. Jim understood that. Jim would have probably enjoyed this as well.

But two days into shore leave, with his Ruth-

Spock entered the turbo lift and made his way down into the belly of the ship, to her heart as the Captain liked to call it. There was no logic behind naming certain parts of the ship after different organs of the body, but there was something about the captain's descriptions that rang true. Spock might never understand why humans engendered their ships with a female pronoun, but for the Enterprise, she almost did feel like a living, pulsing thing, life unlike theirs, but the same. 

Exiting the lift he made a right to start his circle around the department, mulling over his thoughts. Everyone had seemed so excited to beam planet side, to enwrap themselves in that 'amusement park'. . . it seemed so foreign from anything that he was ever raised with. Just being able to think a single thought and have whatever you wished for seemed very dangerous to the Vulcan, but for a group of rational Starfleet officers that understood the conditions, they should theoretically have no problems. Besides, Kirk would keep things under control.

Well, he would keep things under control if he was not too busy with his own recreation. Remembering the look in the captain's eye, something told him that Jim would be very busy indeed.

An irrational twinge nagged at him, but the Vulcan paid it no mind. There was no reason for any sort of jealousy, it was unfounded and entirely unprofessional. But still, it festered, uncalled for and undesired.

After an outward spot check on several machines, Spock moved to the next deck. There had been several times as of late that things had seemed quite strange with the captain, that the other man was. . . he didn't know how to put it other than he was being quite forward with the Vulcan. It was a strange feeling, that the captain might actually be using his flirtatious nature on him. The Vulcan didn't quite understand the purpose, such a relationship would be highly illogical for many reasons. They were both ranked officers on the ship. No child could come from such a union. And Jim. . .

Jim desired nothing to tether him down. He had one love, and it was the Enterprise. Spock could understand fully, after his young adult life on Vulcan, space and the chance to explore and experience new worlds- it was the most fulfilling feeling that he had ever received in his life. A feeling only multiplied when Jim looked at him with mirthful hazel eyes, full of excitement and true bliss. Whereas Spock would never show them outwardly, he sometimes felt as if Kirk was reflecting the emotions he could not convey.

It wasn't easy to decipher what those feelings might be at times, considering that they were something that he dared not to explore. He himself was still the intended of a girl he hadn't seen since his childhood, and Jim. . . Jim could have no attachments. Therefore, any and all feelings that he might experience, however logical or illogical, were invalid.

Spock swept through the next three decks pragmatically, but finding nothing out of sorts found his mind wandering back to hazel eyes and command gold. He entered the turbolift, fully intending to return to his quarters, perhaps after a quick jaunt up to the bridge. 

Perhaps he too should have engaged in shore leave, imagined a great library with more data than he could know what to do with, or a moonlit beach. He'd been to one shortly before reporting to the Enterprise for the first time, when Christopher Pike had been captain. There was something utterly relaxing about the way that the waves lapped in and out at the sand, inky black waters calm and still like a giant mirror. Tranquil.

But there would have also been the chance that he would think of the same thing that he was thinking of now. His captain. In a fashion that was not suited to one of his rank.

The question remained, if he had the captain all to himself on the paradise planet, what would they do together? Talk? Play chess? Or. . .?

Spock felt an illogical blush start to creep across his cheeks, and stopped in his tracks, shocked that such a thought would even cross his mind. Jim was a cohort, a commanding officer. Not someone to be thinking about in such a manner. Stiffly, he turned from his path to the bridge and made his way back to his room, thankful that no one was around to see his green flushed ears.

Upon his return however, he was shocked to find none other than James T. Kirk, waiting at his door with a hand raised to knock. The brunette turned and smiled. "Mister Spock. I was just looking for you."

"Captain, I thought you would be staying planet side for the duration of shore leave?" Spock tried to compose himself, remaining as neutral as possible, but at the thought that Jim might be seeing him eliciting such an emotional response as a simple blush, his face only felt hotter.

"I was going to, but then, I thought about you up here all alone. . . and I thought I would keep you company." Jim said flippantly. "Besides, a man needs other stimulants than false pleasures, Spock."

"Sir, I already made it perfectly clear that I do not require the same rest that you or the others do." Spock stated simply clasping his hands behind his back. It was the truth, but the captain merely chuckled at him.

"Still, I believe that a little companionship would do you good." Jim moved closer, almost uncomfortably close. Spock could smell the minty musk of his aftershave, a scent that he had always thought pleasant. Now, with those mischievous eyes boring into him, it seemed almost intoxicating. "Would you play a game of chess with me?" 

The Vulcan nodded, opening the door to his room to retrieve his chess set. On the way in, Jim casually brushed his fingertips along Spock's own. The electric jolt that carried between the two of them was stirring, and Spock found his cheeks growing hotter. Thankful for the darkness of his room, he fumbled for his chess set in the dark, willing himself to calm down.

It was highly illogical. Inappropriate. 

But as he looked out into the lit hallway, where is captain awaited him in the light, eyes vivacious and stance playful, he realized that Jim Kirk, and any feelings for him always would be.

Perhaps, Spock considered as he walked into the light, that wasn't a bad thing.


End file.
